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27/06/2013

Am I going crazy?

Do you ever wonder about things that you think no one wonders about, but they do? I mean, when you look at the reflection of your friend in the mirror, it looks weird but when you look at your reflection, it looks just fine? 
Like, when in a train, I look at the railway tracks through the window, and I thinkabout the people who made them and how hard they worked and what a big damage can a single mistake can cause. And when the train changes its track from the first to the second and then to the third,and ahead after a while you see the dead end of the first track and a train on the second track, and I wonder what would've happened if the train I am travelling on was on the first or the second track. 
I also wonder about the small hut made in the middle of an abandoned ground and you can see no one there, no shops, no parks, only the people living in that hut, and I wonder who takes care of them, who feeds them and who talks to them? 
Sometimes I look at people on the train or bus, and I wonder if they're going somewhere or they're coming from somewhere. And if they're running away from someone or if they're running towards someone. What is it that they're running from?
 Sometimes when I listen to the siren of an ambulance, I wonder where is it running to and whoever it is running towards,I hope they are okay.
 Sometimes I look up at the stars and I wonder if someone's staring back. 
And there are times when I wonder why people who are afraid of heights are afraid of heights,and I think it is because some miserable corner of your soul thinks you'd jump and let gravity do its work. And at times,I think about love, how so many people in love. And I wonder is it even real? I also wonder if mirror tells the truth, if people look at me and see what I see in the mirror. 
I wonder a lot about what goes inside the head of people. I wonder what goes on in your head when you listen to me talking or singing. I wonder what is going on in your head right now while you're  reading this. I wonder what goes on into people's head right before they die or kill themselves. I wonder what goes on into the head of people who self harm. I wonder if I really exist or is it all just a good-bad dream. You ever get this feeling? When you look into the mirror and you feel like you're not what you're looking at, like when people look at you, they see something else and mirror is a liar. I wonder a lot. All day, all night. And sometimes I wonder if I am crazy for thinking about all these things that do not matter to anyone . And the next moment I start wondering if these things matter to people.
It's like a labyrinth I am trapped in. Every time I try to get out of it, I end up losing myself all over again.
 How will I ever come out of this labyrinth? 

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