A part of me died that day.

He made the face that he makes when he's trying not to cry.
"So, here's the fifty rupee note." He faked a smile. "What does it say? It says we were never really serious about each other" I looked away trying to hold back my tears. "Oh, don't pretend like you don't remember the bet?" He looked at me like it was all my mistake.

--TWO YEARS AGO--

We were standing at the beach. 

"Isn't it beautiful?" I looked at him and smiled. "Yes, it is" He smiled at the beach and looked at me.

"I have to tell you something.", he said clearing his throat. "I'm listening." I said, as I stared at the beach. "Look at me." And I did. I could see fear in his eyes. 

"There's a strong chance that I like you, and if you're not very busy this weekend, I'd love to, you know, take you out", he said, and looked at the sea like he couldn't believe what his mouth just spluttered out. 

"Take me out where?" I looked at him, with a half smile.

"It's my sister's wedding, and you could come with me.. as my, you know, girlfriend" 

I swear I saw his cheeks turn all pink. He was blushing. And it was the most adorable thing I had ever seen.

"You know, that I don't want anything seri.."

"Yes, you don't want anything serious. I know"

"Sure, then, what the hell?" I threw my hands up in the air and laughed. He laughed along.

He bought me balloons, I drew a broken heart on the fifty rupee note, and said "The day we find this, we'll be glad that we didn't get too serious with each other." He laughed and looked at me like he knew this day would come. Like he knew I'll regret it in the future.

--------

"Yes, I do. I do remember the bet." I said, still holding back my tears. 

Then, he gave out a smile. That smile is still in my veins, breaking the part of me that wanted to take back everything I had said or done. The part of me that wanted him to ask me to shut the fuck up and kiss me. The part of me that KNEW we'll never find anyone else.

He handed me the fifty bucks, and kissed my cheek.

"Fifty bucks, and you'll thank me for this when you meet your future husband.", he whispered in my ear, and I felt a tear roll down his eye, on my cheek. I couldn't imagine a second without him and he was already making plans about our separate future.

He did love me, though. But he cared about me too much. He was pushing me away, because he said I could do better and I'll never be happy with him. Even though, I told him I can't walk away from him, I loved him too much to fuck up his life, by staying or to lose him by forcing us to hang on until we hated each other.

So, I let him go. 

A part of me died that day.