I'm rarely mean to others. I have never in my life made fun of anyone's body or pointed out their flaws-not even as a joke. I have never laughed when people stammer when they speak something on the stage for the first time. When I was in school, a girl vomited on my dress because road trips made her sick and I held her hand through it. 

I might have not been perfect, and yes, I have made a lot of mistakes. But I don't deserve this is all I know. 

No one deserves this. 

I really don't. Why is this happening? 

When will things be better? 

Will everything be better off without me? 

I want to feel normal again. It happened almost 6 months ago and I've been carrying it with me and it's growing inside of me. I'm never truly happy. I'm always thinking about it. ALWAYS. 

I know I may not make sense right now... But I just want to leave..