Tears burst out of my eyes. My body went cold. My heart started beating in my chest like crazy. All the memories were gone. Of us, of the last year I had spent and all the bad things started coming back to my mind to haunt me.
That's the thing about having a history with depression. You never know if it's just one of those days or it's all coming back. I couldn't think of anything. My brain stopped working. My hands shivered, I felt weak on my knees. Everything stopped. I stopped living.
The first time I went in public after that I felt naked. Exposed. Like everyone has seen my scars. My flaws. Every look felt judgmental. I wish I believed in God so I could ask him to punish you for doing this.
People keep telling me it's all right and it'll go away. I just don't think it will. I have lost all my hope in life, in living; I don't want to live.
I read my previous suicide letter today and I don't know, It's fucked. I'm fucked. I can't live like this. I can't disappoint so many people.
It's like I'm playing an annoying video game and I keep dying but they keep giving me another life. And there's no exit button; I'm forced to play that game. It's like.. I don't want to play anymore. I don't more lives. Just let me go. Let me die.
That's the thing about having a history with depression. You never know if it's just one of those days or it's all coming back. I couldn't think of anything. My brain stopped working. My hands shivered, I felt weak on my knees. Everything stopped. I stopped living.
The first time I went in public after that I felt naked. Exposed. Like everyone has seen my scars. My flaws. Every look felt judgmental. I wish I believed in God so I could ask him to punish you for doing this.
People keep telling me it's all right and it'll go away. I just don't think it will. I have lost all my hope in life, in living; I don't want to live.
I read my previous suicide letter today and I don't know, It's fucked. I'm fucked. I can't live like this. I can't disappoint so many people.
It's like I'm playing an annoying video game and I keep dying but they keep giving me another life. And there's no exit button; I'm forced to play that game. It's like.. I don't want to play anymore. I don't more lives. Just let me go. Let me die.
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